"Anne will you be around for the fellowship?" No ma I would be travelling to Abuja that day, I lied. This will be the second week the reverend's wife is inviting me for the women's fellowship. I have tried to cover up the scars, they are more obvious unlike before. John has started drinking again, since he lost his job he hasn't been the same. We met at the university, five years ago. He a final year student, I was just in my second year. I had gone to the cafeteria with my friends, as we prepared to leave, this good looking guy walks in. I immediately began adjusting what wasn't there. We had eye contact and both smiled at one another and I left. Afterwards, it was easy to spot him in school and I made sure I smiled whenever I saw him. One day, I saw one of my friends talking to him, as a sharp girl I corner him and start asking questionsT. He told me his name is John okpala, a final year student and committed to a girl in another university. My heart sunk on hearing the last part and I moved on. After graduation, I was posted to Lagos for my youth service. I saw him at the bank I was posted to. He recognised me instantly and asked what I was doing at the bank. " I was posted to this branch", he smiled at took me to the manager's office. One day after work, he offered me a lift because of the rain. We got talking, it was a Friday and the traffic was just worse than ever. We stopped at the galleria to pass time before heading to the mainland. There I found out he was single again. Just fresh out of the relationship and obviously bitter. We had a few drinks at the bar that night and I was so drunk. He had to take me to his place since I couldn't describe mine because of my state. We had sex, seven weeks later I found out I wa pregnant. In my mind, I have caught the man of my dreams, we got married because John couldn't bear the thought of having a child that won't have both parents living together. I was elated but I couldn't show it, I had to act like I was sad aswell. I thought I knew him enough, he has a good job, fine man and stable too. What more could a girl ask for. Fast foward five years, wish I could change the hands of time. I miscarried the pregnancy the week he lost his job. I had to lie to the doctor that I fell down in the bath tub. Those days, I could hide the scars with makeup. Now I hardly smile because it actually hurts to. I get fresh wounds each day. He has made me desert my friends, I can't smile, for I fear my face would crack. I hear his car horn at the gate, it's 3 am. Another long night as I await his wrath, I wonder; when will I be free? Maybe never.